flash fire [belle!]

[racingbelle]

I quickly turned to see if Chris was still standing. I half expected him to be crumpled on the ground and yet he still surprised me. He was so strong... Hey wait this wasn't anytime to be daydreaming! I shook my head and opened the door for Chris. In you go. I just realized that his shirt was still off. He was black and blue all over and his right shoulder was in an odd position. You um you um.. I was tongue tied for the first time since I met him.

Omaha? You in here? I called in the darkness of the trailer. Come on just come right in. Stevie we'll just leave us saddled right now. She'll take them off later. My back really hurt now and all the adrenaline that was there, fueling me in that desperate run, was gone. My knees wobbled and everything went black. I sunk to the floor of the trailer but could do no more.

Um..in you go. The horses have already loaded themselves in the trailer I think. Let me go see. I quickly walked to the back of the trailer, looking to make sure the horses were in the trailer.

[Forte]

Years on horseback had hardened Chris, which was probably what saved him from being completely unconscious in the first place. All the same, he barely managed to get himself into the truck at all, trying to shoot a grateful look at Stevie but failing. He leaned his head against the back of the seat and looked over at her, not really finding anything odd in her stammering, although it seemed unlike her since she liked to talk so much. "Yeah, they probably have," he said, watching her walk away lazily, his eyes glazed over with pain and exhaustion. The rain was falling hard outside. His shirt was balled up in his fist, soaked through so that he didn't even want to put it on, nor could he imagine having to force his limp arm into it. Although the rain had washed most of the blood off of his face, he still looked a disaster, but he hardly cared right at the moment.

Omaha walked right into the trailer, ducking his head slightly as he went in. When he saw Belle on the ground he looked extremely worried, and was frowning as he came and stood beside her quietly. "Belle, are you going to be alright?" he asked, nerves showing in his voice. Now that Chris was no longer guiding him he had become more nervous, and the thought that Belle might be hurt worried him. After all, but for her and Stevie, Chris and himself would be toast by now. It was his nervousness that had gotten them into this mess in the first place, and that bothered him immensely, making him feel very guilty and sick.

Chris waited for Stevie to come back to the truck, and when she did he turned to her with a meaningful look on her face. "Thank you," he said, a little hoarsely, coughing, "I should be dead, it's only because of you and Belle that we got out of there at all. I don't know what I would've done without you." With that, he fell silent, because talking was obviously putting him in a great deal of pain since at least one of his ribs was broken and a few more were bruised or cracked.

[racingbelle]

I closed the trailer door not even bothering to hook up safety lines. They would be OK besides the hospital wasn't far away and that's when I would check on them again and remove their tack. I winced as I put my right foot down. I remembered the pain I had been in when I fell and now I knew why. I couldn't look at it now though, Chris's injures were much more serious. I opened the door and slide in slamming the door shut behind me. Then I started the engine and Chris spoke again. "Thank you," he said coughing. "I should be dead, it's only because of you and Belle that we got out of there at all. I don't know what I would've done without you." I looked at him lovingly. It's no problem. I think this was meant to happen. Destiny you know. I'm glad I found you. Chris I..I... I started to drive and then continued. I love you! There I said it. I realized that I had a strange feeling ever since I had met him and now I knew.

"Belle, are you going to be alright?" Omaha asked his nerves showing in his voice. Yeah. Your right I'm not OK. My back is strained from carrying all that weight and all my legs hurt. I groaned. I'll be alright though. I just need rest. The truck started and we started to move. You did alright Omaha you did alright... then I faded out of consciousness.

[Forte]

Chris managed to chuckle as she spoke, but it sounded dry and hollow in his throat. "I don't believe in destiny," he said, turning his head away from her to look out the window, resting his brow against the cool glass and watching the raindrops splatter against the pane and then stream down to the Earth. He was trembling, now, suddenly his whole body had gone stiff and cold as death itself. He felt feverish and ill, over-exerted and just about ready to quit. He was breathing more slowly now, feeling his heartbeat dull, until it was no longer beating a relentless tattoo against his throat and neck. However, Stevie's next words stopped him dead, and the tattoo started again, a rapid tic-toc against his shattered ribs. He was stunned, spent, and he allowed the silence to stretch out between them, almost tangible in it's heavy air.

Back in the trailer, Omaha seemed placated by Belle's explanation. However, he did not thing that he had done "alright". If anything, he had made more of a mess of things. Belle had been the one carrying both humans because he was too silly and afraid. It was his fault that she was injured. He felt like kicking himself. He hung his head in the silence, frowning, looking for all the world like he, too, was asleep. But this was all his fault, and he could not escape how wretched he was. He would never amount to anything. He looked over at Belle, worried and strained on her account. She had saved his life, and for that he would always owe her, always be her friend.

Chris was still at a loss for words. What was he supposed to say? That he loved her too? He couldn't say that, of course. Couldn't lie to her and to himself. He closed his eyes, willing the blackness to come, willing himself to wake up from some horrid nightmare. But he did not pass out, nor did he awaken, and when he opened his eyes the rain was still streaking down the window. "Stevie... I..." he began, but stopped almost immediately, swallowing his words. "I don't know." He said, rather lamely. But at least that was true.

[racingbelle]

He chuckled a bit and said dryly "I don't believe in destiny." Chris turned his head away and I knew he was thinking. Too quickly stupid! This guys in shock and you tell him that you love him! Might as well give him a heart attack and kill him! I waited for him to speck again and watched the road in front of me.

Mmm. I mumbled and groaned in my sleep. I was having a nightmare. That I had fallen and couldn't get up. Everyone was trying to get me up but I couldn't. They had all slowly faded into the burning fire. I screamed and then faded back into the nightmare.

What was I suppose to say? I was lost in all these feeling and I just didn't know what to do. Finally Chris broke the silence. "Stevie... I..." Was he going to say it? "I don't know." He finished. I knew it was that was true but I just wanted him to know what I said was true too. I know this is fast but I understand if you don't feel the same way about me too. We can still be good friends. I set my jaw as my eyes began to water but only briefly. I hoped he didn't see.

[Forte]

Omaha looked nervously over at Belle, a pang of guilt stabbing through him. "Belle? Belle?" He asked, nuzzling her shoulder as she cried out in her sleep. "Wake up, Belle! Please wake up?" He cried, desperately. He knew that he was the one who had caused this, and was beginning to feel very scared. He would never forgive himself if she never raced again, if she never ran again. Desperately, he kicked out at the side of the trailer, rattling it slightly, even though he knew he wasn't supposed to. He let out a long, low nicker, tempered with a desperate, simpering note. How could he ever forgive himself for what he had done to her? Even more, how could she ever forgive him?

Stevie's words just confused Chris even more. He hadn't said that he didn't love her, after all. Only that he didn't know. He felt like he didn't know anything anymore. His ribs were hurting and he was cold. He was shivering. He had broken out in a sweat again, although this time it was as cold as ice. He looked over at her, and he knew that he didn't want to deal with this. He just wanted to erase this whole day. For a moment, he really, really wanted Stevie to drop off the face of the Earth, to stop talking. To stop making him feel any worse than he already did. He felt like he might as well just give up, in any case. Hang up his hat and bid adieu, cruel world. ...But she had saved his life, and Omaha's, too. He would never forgive himself if he just let that fact go.

"I didn't say that," he said, although it came out as rather more of an impatient growl. He attempted to temper his tone, but really he was just cranky and annoyed. "Look. I don't know what I want. I don't know how I feel about you, because I have spent the last half an hour with a broken rib and a dislocated shoulder. If you make me decide anything now I won't make the right decision." Immediately, he regretted his harsh words. He looked over at her balefully. "Sorry... I'm not angry with you... Just..." He whispered, apologetically. "Sorry."

[racingbelle]

Mmm. Just let me sleep. I'm alright. I'm alright. Bad dream. Really bad dream. This isn't your fault so stop worrying. I would have done the same thing in your position. Really. Believe me Omaha. Believe me... I fell back into a deep dreamless sleep.

I know, Chris. I know you didn't say that. I was just telling you what I wanted you to know. I know your not angry with me just cross because your hurt. Now sleep before you really do get mad at me. I sighed. Love was confusing. Why did I have to tell him now?! Under these circumstances?! We were almost there. In a couple of days I would ask him again if he didn't tell me. I would bring Omaha and Belle back to the ranch where the could be safe and rest. Where we all could be safe and rest.

[Forte]

Chris sighed again, face still pressed against the window, mind still racing, unable to settle down. He chuckled morbidly again at her suggestion that he should sleep. "Can't. Couldn't if I wanted to," he said, a little over-sarcastically, perhaps. He was still regretting his tone, not understanding why he was so, well, angry with her now. It seemed like he had been less confused under the pressing, desperate heat of the fire, under it's imminent oppressive nature. He had been more in his element then, in the heart of danger, than he was now, taken off-guard, sitting shot-gun in a pick-up with his whole body aching. He had to admit that she had done what he would have. He didn't like to withhold information from people, and if he ever had fallen in love with someone he would have told them, same as she had, just so they'd know. Funny thing was, he didn't want to know.

If Chris wasn't placated by what Stevie had said, Omaha was even less so by Belle's words. He was uncomfortable and cramped himself, but he thought only for the brave mare lying asleep next to him. The rocking and jolting of the trailer disturbed him more than it ever had before. No matter what she said, he knew that her plight was because of him, because he was too scared to carry his own master. He hung his head with shame. Chris, too, felt horrible about what he had said, all the things he'd said. He didn't want to lie to Stevie, and he was grateful to her. But that was all he felt, now. A hollowness that he had not felt before had lodged itself somewhere in his breath, a yearning to tell her than he felt the same way. The only problem was that he didn't. He didn't feel anything, really, except a kind of sick guilt and pain.

[racingbelle]

Driving in the rain with a trailer was hard. Driving with mix emotions and a trailer was almost impossible. Why now? Why not later? Would he say he loved me? I didn't know. All that I did know is that he was unsure. That could be a yes or a no. I hated this feeling. It was guilt. I was guilty for telling Chris that I loved him now. We were both in shock and I couldn't deniy it. Chris said he couldn't sleep and neither could I if I wasn't driving. What if Chris really did love me? What then? I didn't know. I was so confused!

I scrambled onto my feet. Omaha stop it. I can't sleep because I'm feeling what you feel. I feel that I've failed Stevie by falling. You feel like you've failed Chris by throwing him. Omaha. It’s not your fault. Any horse would have been spooked then go into shock afterwards. I would have. As for the rest of my injuries, I’ll heal. I know Chris’s injures are serious but he’ll heal too. He doesn’t blame you and neither do I. Oh Omaha! Broken bones heal. Cuts and scrapes heal. Strained muscles heal. Everything heals in due time. Now stop worrying about everything. Now are you hurt? ?” How I wished they had left Omaha a stallion. That way I could love him the way a mare should. By giving him a foal to be proud of.

Chris were almost there. You'll be fine once we reach the hospital. I'll bring Omaha and Belle to the ranch. That way they can get some rest too. Omaha and Belle can stay with each other while your in the hospital. I'm sure their going to want to keep you a while. I sighed and felt my eyelids close. I snapped them open quickly and concentrated on the road. We were almost there. Almost there. My brain was focused on that thought only. At least I thought it was.

[Forte]

Omaha seemed pacified now, partially because he was so exhausted. "I'm sorry," he said, "I know I shouldn't feel guilty... And you didn't let us down, you saved us! Belle, you should be proud of yourself, you're braver than anyone I've ever met!" He paused for a moment, looking at her in the dim light of the trailer. He was glad to have her as a friend, and in fact did not care that she would never carry his foals. He didn't want her to. He wanted her to be happy, to get everything she ever wanted and deserved. "I'm not hurt, just tired..." He said, and with that he dozed off.

"Stevie, I'll be fine," said Chris, honestly, "nothing's seriously screwed up, I've just dislocated by shoulder and broken a few ribs. Worse has happened to people." He was chuckling slightly now, a little maniacally, exhausted and dazed. "They'll probably let me out tomorrow. In any case, here we are and I'll see you, ok?"

---TIME LAPSE---

As it turned out, Chris was right. He had to stay the night, but he was fine except for broken ribs and cuts and scratches. the next day he made his way out to the ranch, his ribs tightly bound and unable to ride for at least a little while, to see how Omaha was doing. "Omaha!" he called, cheerfully, looking out at the pastures to find his faithful horse. As it turned out, Omaha was out in one of the front pastures and set off at a high canter towards his master, whinnying joyfully and giving a playful little buck, looking tons better for a good night's rest.

[racingbelle]

I sighed with relief as Omaha drifted off to sleep. Now I didn't have to worry. Omaha would be fine now. He realized that it wasn't all his fault and that it could have happened to anyone of us horses. I groaned and sunk back to the ground. Life was good and so was sleep.


Yeah I know. Just saying. You really don't look good though and I don't think Belle's fall helped much. You look like you were going to fall off of Omaha! Well were all tired. See you tomorrow.

~~Time Lapse~~

I was restless the night after the fire. When Rachael saw me she was shocked and asked for all the details. I told her all but one. The one where I told Chris I loved him. I was fine except for a bruised ankle from falling on it. I insisted on caring for the horses that night with Rae's help. I found out that Belle's back was strained but other wise she and Omaha were fine except for a few cut and bruises here and there but don't we all have them?

I followed more slowly, I had more stiff muscles than him and my back wouldn't heal for a while. I let out a nicker to Chris. He was kind and gentle and I liked that about him. I would carry him back through a fire if I had too. I nipped playfully at Omaha. Your acting like Lightning! Where did you get that energy from?

I stepped out from the stallion barn. Lightning I'll be back! I looked directly at Omaha's pasture. Chris! My heart skipped a beat. I saw the horses run to him or at least Omaha. Belle follow more slowly, stiffly. Poor girl I thought. I walked to where Chris and the horses were standing. "Hi Chris your looking a lot better. Hi Belle. You good girl. Your the one who saved us all." I rubbed her cheek. "You know under normal circumstances Belle doesn't carry anyone but me. But I think she'd let you ride her again. She was mistreated by the people who broke her till I had a chance at it. Matter of fact I was the last one who had a chance at since I was a girl. They said I tamed a menace but I knew all Belle wanted was love and respect. I gave it to her. You did the same Chris. That's why she's being nice to you. We'll that and she threw you." Belle snorted. "I know you didn't mean to do it girl" I murmured to her. Now what would he say? About everything said now and yesterday?

[Forte]

(taking it after the time lapse =P)

Omaha snorted, perhaps a little bit embarrassed. In truth, his energy had come from the fact that he was so glad to see his friend in one piece. He nuzzled Chris gently on the shoulder, carefully, knowing that he was still injured. "Hey, old boy," Chris whispered, taking the gelding's head in his hands and stroking his neck while Omaha snuffled around in his pockets, looking for treats. "You old hound!" Chris laughed, reaching into his pocket and taking out a lump of sugar for him and another for Belle. "And hello there, sweetheart. Still a little sore, I see. Don't worry about it, me too." He reached out a hand to give her a grateful pat on the next, smiling as Omaha stopped examining him and turned back towards Belle happily, giving a little whinny when he saw Stevie over her shoulder.

"I-I was just glad to see Chris," said Omaha, in response to Belle. Chris turned his head towards Stevie, his broad grin fading into a nervous smile, and then disappearing completely as he swallowed. He hoped she wasn't going to demand that he gave her any reciprocation. If anything, he was more confused, and the pain medication they had given him had put him a little off kilter in any case. He smiled again when she finished speaking, but it was a little weak, a little nervous, "Morning, Stevie," he said, quietly. But then again he never spoke very loud, so this was of itself not unusual. He looked back over at Belle as she spoke.

"Yeah, Omaha here hasn't had the easiest time of things, either," he said, shrugging. "Actually, I don't know that much about him. Got him out of an auction pen after he'd been sold to slaughter, but he was dead scared of people. All they knew about him was that he and some other horses had been left in a make-shift paddock after a rodeo outfit had closed, and had near starved and froze to death." He stopped, only talking about it to avoid talking about anything else, because he really didn't want to.

[racingbelle]

Don't be embaressed Omaha. It's nice to see Chris up and around too. I lowered my head slowly to graze. What's going on between our humans? You think they would be glad to see each other in one piece. Hmm. I thought. What was going with Stevie. I could feel the tension in the air and it made me feel nervous too.

I could tell Chris didn't want to talk about it so I stayed with horses. Poor Omaha. So he was a bucking horse? He looks too sweet to do that. I rubed the geldings neck. I could see some scars criss crossing his hind end. Whip marks. Poor boy I mummered to him. Looks like Omaha found a good home with you. Um..I have another mare and stallion. I don't know much about the mare, Dancer is her name, except that she was in a barn fire. Lightning is my two year old. He has done excellent racing with me on his back. He just loves to run. Lightning's going to have a foal soon too. He bred Dancer the day I got her. It was kind of an accident, I didn't know the mare was in heat but I did once I saw Lightning loose. I'm kind of glad that they did it though. I'll have a foal of my own to train. Yeah. I sighed. Life was good, in some ways.

[Forte]

Omaha considered Belle's question for a moment, looking at the humans. "Well, Chris is glad to see her, I think," he said, snorting quietly, "he doesn't usually like other humans, you know. At least I don't think he does. He doesn't talk to them much, at any rate. We've been traveling from place to place for months now. My home is wherever he is." He lowered his head to graze, searching out cowslips in the young grass. He hadn't been in a pasture near so nice as this since his birth, which had been on a wide range that seemed to him to have no end. He moved slightly away from Belle and lowered himself to the ground, rolling around in the dust to pop his back, before standing up joyfully and trotting a little ways along the fence line, looking as young and fresh as he ever had.

"Naw, he's got plenty of mischief in him still, but I don't reckon he was every a really nasty bucking horse," said Chris, leaning on the fence and avoiding her eyes. Omaha snorted nonchalantly at Stevie's sympathetic words, coming to a halt beside Belle, practically smiling. He listened to her words about her other horses and tried to hide a little frown of disapproval. It might have just been him, but he had never liked horse racing or showjumping or anything of the type. He didn't like to see a horse doing something that seemed so purely unnatural. Then again, people had their own agendas, and that's what irked him, the fact that they would raise up a poor beast to meet their own expectations and accept nothing else. He was likewise silent about the issue of the foal, looking out past the horses at the fields still covered in mist, shining like jewels with dew.

He sighed, rubbing his temple with one hand, trying to sort something out in his mind. He could feel the tension lying just beneath their conversation, oppressive like a coming storm, looming over both their heads. "Look... Stevie," he began, but found that he was unable to say what he meant. Which was mostly due to the fact that he did not know what he meant.

[racingbelle]

Why did everything have to be so complicated! I was getting a bit frustrated and unhappy. Why did I have to tell him! I knew why. It was because I couldn't hold my feelings back from him. "Hey Chris. I know what your thinking..about Lightning racing." I said. "It's not natural for a horse to run like we make them. Some horses just don't like to run but Lightning and Belle their different. They just love to run. Maybe not Belle as much as Lightning but she still does it. I'm thinking of retiring her soon. She might be ready to have a foal or two." I said ignoring Chris's cut off comment.

"Yeah well..this is different Omaha. I can just feel it. Stevie must have said something to him when they were in the truck. Something is just not right." I watched as he rolled and I walked over to the fence. I pricked my ears trying to understand the mixed feeling I felt in the air.