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Post by Forte on Jul 17, 2010 20:13:32 GMT -5
"I guess it's for the best, anyway," Chris said quietly, although he didn't really know what to think. She was probably just over-stressed and couldn't handle the fact that they'd had a stupid argument... Although it really wasn't stupid. Chris wasn't really upset by what she'd said so much as what he had, and she hadn't even been around to hear. She did always push him too fast, push everyone around her too fast, and he was used to plodding through life without ever having to make a decision immediately. She demanded that kind of instant reciprocation that he could probably never give her. But what upset him was that every word he had said had been true, and that he hadn't been totally unreasonable or anywhere near. He loved her, (did he? he was again not sure of anything. it seemed like only disasters drew them together, and he wasn't in the mood for any of those) but there were some things about her that he just couldn't stand. It was probably the same for her with him, anyway. Was this how it was supposed to be? Was love always supposed to be so darn confusing? "I don't want to turn it back up, Stevie. I'd rather have my own mind, in any case," he looked at her quietly, just the way the light fell against the contours of her face. "If you can stay a little longer, please do..." He said after a long moment, and at least that was true. He didn't want her to leave.
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Post by racingbelle on Jul 17, 2010 20:41:52 GMT -5
"Chris, let me tell you somethinng. I know I move fast but I'm like Lightning, I'm just a baby that needs to learn. I've never really been around people, just horses. What ever I said please forget it. It was probably stupid, I'm an idiot sometimes. No change that most of the time. I wish I could figger out how I forgot...maybe I hit my head when I passed out in Lightning's stall...I was grooming him then all of a sudden it was morning. Anyway I'm just an idiot that you should listen to only half the time." I said. It was true. I was an idiot or at least I felt like it. I sighed. What ever I said must have really gotten to Chris. Gosh I hate this not being able to remember what I said that gotten him to worry like this!
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Post by Forte on Jul 17, 2010 21:05:23 GMT -5
"Well, yeah. We're all like that. Pretty stupid, I guess," Chris sighed, looking up at the ceiling. He had always felt helpless and foolish and impotent, like everything he did was for nothing. Then he gave her a serious look. "It wasn't anything you said, really, Stevie. It was something I said..." He paused, wondering what to tell her. He didn't really know what it was about doubting her for one instant that bothered him so much, that irked him to the point where it showed through his usual self-imposed mask. "I was angry at you... I said something I shouldn't have, but you were already gone anyway. You have no idea how much you scared me. I guess I knew that you would come back... But I didn't know if I would. I don't know how to explain it... It's just that if I lost you... I would keep on living, I guess. And its horrible to think that..." He sighed, he really just didn't have the words to say what he felt.
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Post by racingbelle on Jul 17, 2010 21:23:33 GMT -5
"Chris, forget it. I made a mistake and I don't care what you said after I left. It was probably true anyway. Chris. Maybe you would have. Just remember I always will. Chris what ever I said probably was too fast, I regret it whatever it was. I do push people too fast sometimes but never my horses. If anyone ever thought that I pushed my horses too fast I would tell them they were wrong. I wait till there ready, even if I want to go to the next step. Just next time when I say that I want to ask you something, other wise like a horse go to the next step, stop me and let my think if your ready for the question." I smiled. "I'll slow down. I promise. If I'm ever going to fast just let me know I'll slow down. I never force anyone to do anything they don't want to. Never." I promised. What ever argument that we had really hurt Chris. I hated it. Something was bothering him. "Chris I'm sorry for whatever I said. Really." I added truthfully. I hoped my face showed that I was truly sorry but sometimes it was like a mask with no particular emotion but the eyes would show everything. That's how my eyes were right now. Hopefully.
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Post by Forte on Jul 17, 2010 21:44:15 GMT -5
"It was true, that's what's bothering me," Chris admitted quietly, listening to her talk, rubbing his temple quietly. The throb above his right eye had increased to a frantic tempo, but it was nothing compared to the dagger-like agony that he felt around the area of his rib cage. It hurt like hell, and tears were pricking in the corners of his eyes with every word he said now. "I don't want you to slow down... I don't want you to change at all. I want to love every part of you just the way you are, but... You know what?" he stopped talking, and looked at her squarely, "it's me who's being the silly boy here, after all. That's impossible, isn't it?" He almost laughed, in fact he tried but it turned into kind of a pained, guttural noise as pain knifed all through his body and he shuddered and became rigid, closing his eyes as stars burst behind his eyelids. "I'm sorry, I'm just stupid, like everyone else in this damned world. But I love you, you know that?"
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Post by racingbelle on Jul 17, 2010 22:05:21 GMT -5
"Oh Chris, I love you too. I definatly know that. After all who would put up with crazy ole me?" I laughed. Then became serious again. "Chris I'll never find someone else like you. No one could replace you in my heart." I said firmly. He looked at me squarely. "No Chris. I don't know. I don't know if you are the silly one here. It could be me. I would if I could remember but my dern brain here wants me to forget. I do know one thing though. That you should turn that morphine back on!" I guestured to the almost off dial. "I don't need you passing out again. I think we've both had enough of that. Plus I don't think the doctors would let you go home soon if you did." I said my face stern, like a mother discipling her child. "I guess I really should go now, you need your rest. I don't think they'll let me back in here if you stress yourself out. Don't worry about a thing, it's all over now, behind us." I said sadly almost. It was almost time for the horses to get fed and I hadn't even worked my two racehorses and oh my gosh! I almost forgotten Promise! Let's see...frantic thoughts of how I was going to work each horse ran through my mind as I waited for Chris to reply.
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Post by Forte on Jul 18, 2010 14:54:41 GMT -5
"Anyone would put up with you, actually. You're quite likable," Chris said with a grin, "Whether they would put up with me is something completely different, however. And, nope, it was most definitely me, I promise you that." He seemed a good deal more lighthearted now that he'd worked out what was bothering him in the first place. There was no such thing as perfection, not even in ethereal matters like love. He loved his horses, but there were also things about them that he couldn't stand. It was the same with Stevie, and with everything else in the world, after all. Like a child, he'd expected everything to be perfect and wonderful, to be floating on air without a care in the world. But his feet were as firm to the Earth as ever. Silly that he should have expected anything to be different, really. It was somehow more magnificent this way, defying all odds and real, solid, not some transient, dreamy thing. "I'm not going to pass out, I'm going to go to sleep. And I am not turning it back on, no way, no how," he said, a little defensively. Although it was true that a strange sort of constricted feeling had come over him and that even his shallow, rasping breaths were shooting little needles of pain all through him. He supposed he really ought to turn it back on, but he liked being fully conscious and in control of his thoughts. "Well... I guess you do have a lot to do, since I can't be there," he said with an apologetic frown, "Make sure Rebel gets out for a little while and runs around, alright? He's bound to be perking up a little by now. I love you..." He looked at her balefully, still not wanting her to leave, but knowing that she had to.
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Post by racingbelle on Jul 18, 2010 15:09:13 GMT -5
"No I don't think so, many people find me annouying. Fine. Your as stubborn as Belle, when she makes up her mind about something but promise me one thing, if it hurts too much just turn it back on." I said. "There's not much to do and sure, maybe I'll see if him and Lightning get on together. After I work all the horses I'll do that. Don't worry about anything at the ranch I'll take care of it and I'll have Stella to help me. She's going to be staying and working for us for a while. She has two horses. I met her the day Lightning almost drowned showing off to her mare." I said. "I don't want to leave either Chris, I love you. I'll be back tomorrow. I promise." I said sadly. I didn't want to go but there was so much to do. I gave him on more kiss and started to leave.
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Post by Forte on Jul 18, 2010 19:49:21 GMT -5
"Yeah, but if I weren't stubborn I wouldn't be much, would I?" Chris said with a little grin, "And, alright... I promise. If worse comes to worse you can put him in the pasture with Omaha when you're exercising Belle... Omaha's bound to have a bit of a spring in his step by now, too, he's still pretty energetic despite his age, you know. I'm not too worried about him, but Rebel's probably getting restless and he needs exercise, because he's a little butterball..." he trailed off, smiling quietly at the talk of his horses. He loved them to death. He frowned slightly as Stevie decided to leave, but he knew that she had to. "Alright, I'll see you." He said quietly, watching her go. Then he lay back on the pillow and succumbed to the knifing pain in his ribs, tears in the corner of his eyes at the agony. It would take a long time for him to drift off to sleep.
-Time Lapse-
Pretty much as Chris's ribs had healed to the point where he could walk around a little bit without risking internal damage and he was off of a morphine drip and onto ibuprofen (the only thing he would consent to), he got to go home. Normally, they would have held him longer, but as he had guessed the hospital was quite busy for some reason. Now he was lying on the couch with a blanket half-covering him, looking at a book more than actually reading it. He was incredibly bored, and he hated not really being able to move around. Without Stevie's knowledge, he'd been attempting to stand and walk around for a while now, but every time he had come uncomfortably close to passing out again, and he really didn't want to go back to the hospital. He wished Stevie would get done with whatever she was doing and come back up and talk to him, the only relief to his monotonous existence.
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Post by racingbelle on Jul 18, 2010 20:27:14 GMT -5
There. Done. I was done with the last chore and ready to go up to the house and see Chris. He had finally come home from the hospital and I was glad. I knew that Chris didn't like to be in the hospital but nothing could have been done about that. "Hey Chris I'm here!'' I called as I opened the door. "How ya doing?" I asked. "Lightning's still kind of moping, he's not bad though. I guess he just needs to see how your doing. Though I've been telling him your fine." I sighed and sat on a chair that was close to the couch. Poor Chris. This was all my fault if only I wasn't so stupid and fallen off of Lightning this wouldn't have happened. Oh well. What was done was done. I sighed and sank deeper into the chair. Boy was I tired!
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Post by Forte on Jul 21, 2010 11:46:55 GMT -5
Oh thank goodness. Chris set the book that he'd been "reading" down and turned to face Stevie with a trace of a grin around the corners of his mouth. "Hey, Stevie," he said, watching her as she came towards him and with a quaver of obvious relief in his voice, "I'm bored out of my skull, as usual. And I wish I could help you with all the stuff that has to get done around here." A distracted frown crossed his face, but was replaced almost instantly by his usual happy look. "Poor Lightning... I'll go down and see him as soon as I can..." He pulled himself into a sitting position so that he could see her in the chair next to him, watching a swirl of motes in the shafts of sunlight that fell through the window across her shoulder, illuminating her hair. "Rebel's probably got to wondering if I've just left him with you by now, too..." He chuckled a little, although it caused a bit of an ache in his chest and he was left wheezing for a good few seconds after wards. Nonetheless, he was healing fairly quickly for broken ribs. It might only be a month or so before he could ride again, and that thought was making him will himself to heal all the faster.
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Post by racingbelle on Jul 21, 2010 12:51:49 GMT -5
"Yeah he is though I say he likes it just fine without you working him. Not that he doesn't miss you it's just that well...he's a bit lazy." I frowned a little as he started to wheezing and then quickly smiled again. "Yeah I do imagine it gets boring in here. Gee if I were you I'd be trying to stand or do something like that. I'm not very patient for these kind of things to heal." I said grimly. "Omaha and Belle stay together twenty four seven. They both look for you too, standing at the gate in the morning to see if you'll come. But there always disappointed when I come, well not Belle as much but Omaha. All the animals are waiting for you to come back. " I grinned. "I took Lightning back out on the track, he worked great, fast as ever...though his heart wasn't in it. Belle on the other hand I didn't, she still seems a little sore. Promise works pretty good, she knows what a track is all about. Really there's not much going on. Kinda boring with out you around." I continued. I shifted in the chair a little trying to get comfortable. "So what have you been up to in here?" I asked, not really sure what to say.
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