Home Sweet... [BELLE]

[racingbelle]

"I won't leave you. I couldn't leave you. Lightning. He's trying to make up for most of the trouble that he's caused. Though this is mostly my fault. I don't know why I got mad I just did. That's what I do when...I don't know why! It just happens!" He was sqeezing my hand but I still wasn't calmed. I was a lot like a Thoroughbred, high strung, engetic, and panicky. I was still crying but not as much as I had. Lightning suddenly reared again and took off galloping around the track. I knew what that meant. Help was here. I sighed in semi relief and stood up trying to slow the frantic Lightning but he had stopped at the other side of the track refusing to come any closer. I didn't blame him. I wanted to run as fast and as far as I could, never stopping until I dropped. I hated hearing the sound of the sirens coming near. I hated this whole stituation. This was a nightmare this was a nightmare, I HAD TO WAKE UP!!!

[Forte]

"Sssh," he hissed, growing slightly alarmed as she kept freaking out. "Stevie... Its alright, everything's alright..." But she wouldn't calm down. He cast about for some way to get her to shut up for one second. Oddly, he felt that their roles were reversed. Here he was, injured again, and he was trying to calm her down? On an impulse, he pulled her closer and kissed her on the lips. He held her there for quite a long time before he finally let her go and collapsed on the ground, panting. Omaha, behind them, let out a shrill whinny as the lights and noise of sirens filled the air. The ambulance was pulling right up the bridle path. Chris kept holding onto Stevie's hand. "See. Everything's alright and neither of us are dead." he said. He twisted his head around to look at her more closely. "I love you." he whispered finally, as the ambulance came to take him away. He didn't want to let her go, though. He didn't want her to leave him again.

[racingbelle]

I stopped talking as Chris kissed me and held me there for a long time. I almosted fainted with shock. To think CHRIS, the shy; tipical cowboy, had kissed me for that long. I didn't ever expect him to do that. Not in a million years. I was calmer, sort of. The ambulance came closer and finally parked at the track. "I don't want you to go!" I whispered frantically. "But someone has to stay here and take care of the horses." I added sadly. "I'll come see you as soon as I'm fineshed taking care of them. I promise." I was going into another full blown panick attack. I didn't want to leave him! I wanted to stay with him. I didn't want him to go yet not now...

[Forte]

Well,that worked, Chris thought, taking note of the way to get Stevie to shut up for five seconds. "Its alright," he said quietly, letting go of her hand as the paramedics came forward. Oh, how he hated the sight of those darn paramedics! He wished they would just vanish or something, and leave him and Stevie alone... But his ribs hurt like hell and he was afraid to move lest he puncture anything major, so. "I'll see you later, then. I don't think they're going to let me off easy this time..." He knew that he was more badly injured then before, and that he would probably have to stay there for a while.

---TIME LAPSE---

It turned out that when he'd gotten to the hospital he'd had to have an emergency x-ray to make sure he didn't have any ribs posing a threat to his lungs, so it turned out that by the time he was finally left alone it was past normal visiting hours and he was in a drug-induced sleep anyway. When he woke up the next morning he had a minor freak-out trying to remember where he was, and why he was in so much pain. A nurse had come by and increased his morphine, though, so currently he was very relaxed and a little loopy. He wished that Stevie would show up - he didn't know if she had last night or not, but knew that it would be a while what with the horses to take care of.

[racingbelle]

"It'll be okey." I said shakily. The paramedics took him away. I left and went to catch both of the horses then go to bed. Tonight had been a horrible one. "Come on Lightning. Come here. There gone." I caught him then Omaha, put Omaha into paddock with Belle, and then walked Lightning to the stables.

Time Lapse

I rushed down the hall into Chris's room. "Chris! Oh Chris! I couldn't come last night because I kinda...sorta...passed out in Lightning's stall." I said tentativly not wanting to worry him. "I woke up this morning and didn't really remembered what happened until I was feeding the horses and noticed that you went around. Then I rushed over here." I said. I leaned over him and kissed him as long as he did last night. Then I sat on the edge of his bed, carefully. "When can you come home? I hate hospitals as much as you do. My dad..." I trailed off not exactly wanting to talk about that. I was just relived that Chris was alive.

[Forte]

Chris smiled abnormally largely when he saw her coming. "Why hello there, Stevie," he said before she could say anything, which was totally unlike him in the first place. However, at her words he became dead serious and frowned. "That's not good, hun, why'd you pass out?" It was also totally unlike him to call her 'hun' or anything that diminutive (in his mind). When she kissed him he responded rather too enthusiastically, wrapping one arm around her shoulder and pressing her down towards him. Again, totally unlike him, but clearly he wasn't quite in control over all of his thought processes at the moment. Too much morphine, probably. He really wasn't in the mood to worry about anything - in fact he was quite incapable of it. It wasn't like him to be optimistic in the first place, although he was quite capable of joy and even joviality at times. "Oh, not long. As soon as my ribs have knitted up enough that I can move without impaling myself, you know. Two or three days, maybe... Hey! This stuff is awesome, did you know that?" he said, gesturing towards the morphine drip, "I feel so... happy..." he drifted off, still grinning dreamily. "I love you." It was surprisingly hard to tell whether he was talking to her or the morphine.

[racingbelle]

Okey this was strange. He didn't usually do this. Oh the morphine. "Well everything was so hard to take in that I guess I just didn't know how else to deal with it." I said slowly giving Chris a funny look. ''Um no I've never been on it before. Wait me or the morphine?" I asked, since it was almost impossible to tell. I was half sure that it was me but... This stuff was sure making him crazier than Lightning! I thought that I would never say that about a person, any person no matter how crazy they were. "Oh well that's good. I hope they take you off this stuff. It's making you kind of weird." Really weird. I added meantally. Oh I really hope that I could talk to the Chris I knew and loved, this Chris was well not MY CHRIS!

[Forte]

"What is there to worry about anyway?" Chris quipped happily, staring more into space than directly at her. "Well, its wonderful, you know. I don't feel anything. Like I could get up and walk around right now... Except I can't feel my toes, either. And i meant you, of course." He looked around the room dreamily, as if he wasn't quite all there. "I am?" he asked, when she said he was acting strange. "They probably forgot to turn it down, you know. I was kind of freaking out earlier, I think they're afraid that I will again and stab myself in the lung or something." He reached over and turned down the drip a couple of notches - it really was a little too high. He leaned back and stared at the ceiling for a few moments. "Hey, is it just me, or are the lights dancing? ...I guess it's just me..." He turned down the morphine some more. "You know, this hospital is really crowded. I haven't seen a lot of people today, other than you, and I guess the doctor came earlier... You know, I... I don't really remember. Ow..." He winced suddenly, looking down at his ribcage. "Well, I can feel my toes now... But somehow this is a lot less pleasant."

[racingbelle]

"Ok. You shouldn't walk around anyway, you might hurt yourself more. Um, well yeah I would guess so after all your ribs are broken." I said. I really didn't know what to say, which was unusal for me. "I have to go soon you know. I have to take Lightning back on the track and introduce Belle. Oh really. The lights are dancing? I don't think that's good." I said. This was akward. "Yeah I guess this place is busy. I didn't really noticed. I just ask a nurse where you were and ran straight here." Wow. Note to self morphine makes Chris out of it. Now that he had turned it down he seemed less dreamy. Kinda.

[Forte]

There was actually a reason that the nurse had turned Chris's morphine so high, but he hadn't been aware of it because he'd been pretty out of it since then. Now, as the high dosage made its way out of his body, he was beginning to feel claustrophobic and terrified. He'd never really liked being indoors in any case, but this was just intolerable. He was also pretty resistant to pain medication in general, and as soon as he became aware that he was seeing things through a haze he started to panic just a little bit. Such was the case, now. the smile disappeared from his face, and in its place was a worried, strained expression, almost a dangerous air of latent violence, the absolute willingness to fight confinement. "Don't go," he said in a small voice, barely more than a whisper, really. "I don't want you to go. I don't want to stay here... And I hate that stupid thing." He looked over at the drip. "I don't remember what I just said to you, you know. I hate that! ...I just want to go home, Stevie..." He was looking really tired now, and a throbbing headache had developed above his right eye.

[racingbelle]

I frowned as Chris's smile left his face. "I know. Easy now. Easy. You'll be going home soon. Don't worry, I don't remember anything before falling off of Lightning. I remember that I was mad about something and tacking him up and Belle was in a frenzy but nothing. It's strange and irritating." I talked to him like a spooked horse, it was the only way I knew how to deal with a freaked out person. ''Chris you know I have to leave but I'll stay longer. I have time. The horses don't need to be fed for a while. Omaha misses you. I know it. All the horses do. Lightning is kinda down, he knows that me falling off and you getting hurt again was his fault kinda. He only half fineshed his food and he hasn't caused a ruckus all day. He won't run, he just stares out into the woods all day." I sighed. "He'll snap out of it once I take him around the track, I hope." I talked about horses so maybe Chris wouldn't think about staying here. I felt sorry for him. This place did kind of creep me out and I didn't have to stay in it day and night but this would be temporary. I wanted Chris to come home soon. This is all my fault some how...

[Forte]

He frowned distractedly. "Sorry..." he whispered, looking down at where he'd grabbed her wrist and letting go of it. "You don't remember what you were mad about? You said... You said you wanted to have kids someday. With me, as a matter of fact, and I kinda freaked out. I've been doing that a lot lately, come to think of it..." He looked at her apologetically. He knew that he could have just not told her what she'd been angry about, but that felt wrong... He didn't want to leave her wondering, after all, and he wasn't about to lie to her. "Yeah, I know you have to leave... I just wish that I could go with you. Poor Omaha... I'm glad he likes you, at least... And that's sad about Lightning, too. You can tell him that I'm alright. And that I forgive him, it wasn't his fault, he's still just a baby in so many ways." Paradoxically, this talk about the horses was making him miss home even more, but at least Stevie was here now. That's all that really mattered. He could have cared less about the ranch, even though he loves it and loved living there, his home was really with her and with his horses in the end. "Thank you... For staying." He said, finally, and kissed her again.

[racingbelle]

"Really? I knew I would have asked that eventually. I know it's strange. Usually a person wouldn't remember anything after a fall but I guess I'm quite the opposite. I don't have to go yet. I have time." I said, not wanting to leave him just yet. "I don't think Lightning will cheer up completely until he sees your ok. Omaha has Belle so I think he'll be fine, Lightning is the only one I gotta worry about." I smiled a little when he kissed me. Everything was going to be fine.

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[atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq95/amanda1472/horses/dfqy5gkg-1-1.jpg] I didn't feel like eating or running or going to see Storm. I just didn't feel good. I had made Stevie fall off and Chris have to save her. Now he was gone. I moping all day. Dancer had whinnied for me to come and see Storm but I ignored her. I sighed. Nothing would be right. Stevie was probably mad at me, she hadn't come to see me all day except for feeding me. I whinnied a lonesome, guilty cry. "Lightning speaks!" Lightning thinks!

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[Forte]

"Yeah, eventually would have been better," Chris muttered a little sourly, frowning slightly at the memory. She always asked these things at the most inconvenient times, when he was just starting to feel comfortable. "No, really... If you have to go back you have to go back." He seemed a little more reserved now, like there was something bothering him that he didn't want to talk about. Of course, there was, but at least this time Stevie wasn't holding out hope for a quick, or even a satisfactory, answer. "Well, just make sure you're nice to him for me, alright? I don't blame him at all." He said, a little worried that Lightning wasn't eating and feeling guilty that he couldn't come home with her right now. "Wear your helmet this time, alright? And promise me you won't do anything else crazy, please. I've had enough of you landing on me for... well, a long time." He looked a little concerned and all of the color had left his face since he'd turned the morphine drip down (in fact because he'd turned it almost all the way off and now he was in severe pain. he preferred it to being uninhibited.)

[racingbelle]

"I'm serious Chris I don't remember anything before saddling Lightning and I don't think I want to remember. I don't know what made me forget but I'm glad. I will don't worry. I know you don't blame him and neither do I but I don't think that's the case. I think he's blaming himself. Um Chris. Are you alright? Maybe you should turn that morphine back up." I said worridly. "I guess I should go but I really don't want to." I said then sighed. "But the horses need me so maybe I should. You need to rest and hurry up and heal. Then you'll be back home before you know it." What did I say to Chris that was making him so upset? He told me the jist of it but I wanted to know exactly what I said yet I didn't. I thought about it rolling thoughts over in my head trying to remember.